Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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