so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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