You made me cry and you don't even care
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
