kristin has been a bad kristin
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
