Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
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