is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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