Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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