he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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