That's intense
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
