I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I want you more than these girls want KFC
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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