just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
