no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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