Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
