Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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