I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You left your phone here
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