Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's rum buckets o'clock
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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