We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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