There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
vagina is talking i cant
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
