so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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