I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
