Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
