Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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