South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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