He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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