at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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