There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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