i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Randomize
