We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
