My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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