I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
