three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You were trust falling into bushes
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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