Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
