im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
