All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
