hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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