i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
