Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
