Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
