He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
