Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
