whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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