ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
