fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
