I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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