I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
