is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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