I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
