Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
