Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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