They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
